Proposals for Beijing Olympic Stadium

Image Source and Copyright: Boston.com

Image Source and Copyright: Boston.com

Another one weeks, China and others say the Olympics should not be politicized, pro-Tibet protesters say they are trying to draw attention to China’s rule over Tibet and its human rights record… yada yada and yada… and more yada.

I am against China’s attempt in whipping off Tibet’s unique culture and replace it with the Han Chinese (I am a Han Chinese) culture, its wrong, neither do I support the stupid one nation two system policy, Hong Kong should be a country by itself, so is Macau and Taiwan. 台湾独立!

Image Source: MalaysiaCity

The blue building on the left is the Beijing National Aquatic Centre or also known as the ‘Water Cube’ was designed by PTW Architects Australia, the red building is the Beijing National Stadium, known as the ‘Bird Nest’.

Well, we all know the existence of the bird nest and water cube, what I am interested is the other proposal during the competition and key scheme for the Beijing National Stadium. Let’s take a look at some of the key scheme that was not chosen (and a good decision too).

Proposal 01

The Architect: “Emerging from the landscape, and shaped by nature, the design will create a simple symbolic link – a bridge – between old and new, between people and country and China with the world.”

Comments: “Looks pretty vulgar to me, probably it is just me, maybe the concept derives from an eye or some private part.”

Proposal 02

The Architect: “The design creates an image of a floating water lily, surrounded by petals and blossoms, emerging in a gently undulating pond.”

Comments – I had no idea that water lily has sharp edges, stop talking cock mr.architect, if you have no idea of the meaning of water lily and the reason why Buddha sat on top of the water lily, stop bullshitting!

An old Chinese proverb – 出淤泥而不讓, here is a really lousy translation, literally it means :If we are born or brought up in a chaotic environment with violence and evil, we should emulate the water lily in the muddy pond, pure and clean without being influence by the surrounding. Mr.Architect, are you implying that Beijing is filthy (indeed it is dirty) to your client? No wonder you lost.

Anyway, it looks like a flying saucer and when the ‘roof’ opens out pop the statue of liberty. Peak-a-boo.

Proposal 03

The Architect: “The upper two layers of the retractable roof adopt the efficient membrane material with high performance. Since the membrane material is very good at deformation resistance, impact resistance, sound absorption and light transmittance, it is helpful to economize the investment, the maintenance cost and the operation expense in the future. ”

Comments: “See, I told you Cockroach-ism exist!”

Proposal 04

The Architect: “The configuration of the stadium symbolizes great nature on the earth. Against the backdrop of sunshiny sky, soft white cloud and green hills are the main originality, along with light pillar that penetrates through white cloud creating nice association. All of these constitute a charming landscape and become a new scene in Beijing tallying with the substance that coexistence of Olympic Game and nature.”

Comments: “I know, the toilets in China are filthy and stinking, you need not remind them with a gigantic toilet bowl.”

Proposal 05

The Architect: “Uses the unique Two Panel Spiral Rotating Shell Retractable Roof Geometry (United States Patent). The roof can be opened and closed in 35 – 40 minutes in wind speeds of up to 50 Km/hr. The sun-facing surface(s) of the retractable roof will be covered with rows of the latest type of photovoltaic cells, one of the largest installations of its kind in the world. The proposed design will be one of the major legacies of the ‘Green Olympics’.”

Comments: “This is the ugliest proposal, it resembles a UFO, an outdated UFO design, if this proposal was chosen, I’ll commit hara-kiri by nuking it to the ground. Maybe the architect thought it was Mars Olympic 2008 – Two Worlds One Dream.”

Glad that the ‘Bird Nest’ design was chosen, a good decision indeed. All images from the Municipal of Beijing’s website, visit the website for more wicked proposals and key schemes for the Beijing Olympic 2008 Stadium. While you’re at it, do visit this website for somefunny Beijing Olympic 2008 Comics

The Missing Link Between Architecture and Extermination of German Cockroach

Image Source: OCMPI

Cockroach or simply “roaches” are insects of the order Blattaria. Cockroaches are generally considered pests, only about 30 species (less than 1%) infest urban habitats.

According to Wikipedia, “Cockroaches are among the hardiest insects on the planet, some species capable of remaining active for a month without food, or being able to survive on limited resources like the glue from the back of postage stamps. Some can go without air for 45 minutes or slow down their heart rate. It is popularly suggested that cockroaches will “inherit the earth” if humanity destroys itself in a nuclear war. Cockroaches do indeed have a much higher radiation resistance than vertebrates, with the lethal dose perhaps 6 to 15 times that for humans.”

Despite being the longest living creature in planet earth, it appears that the missing link between cockroaches and man, don’t be fooled by their appearance, modern cockroaches disguise themselves in the form of man and they can be found among us – architecture students.

Their superpowers besides taking the shape of man are to submit their assignments way beyond the deadline and yet manage to scrape through the semester. After all the world’s largest cockroach is in Australia.

Archi-roach-ism is an architectural style that spawned from the modernist architectural movement and which flourished from the early 21st century. The early style was inspired largely by the Disneyland of Dubai, and in particular the worlds crave for everything monumental.

The Burj al-Arab is supposed to be the tallest (c. 1,053 feet) resort hotel in the world, and was built to resemble a sail. The locals called it “the cockroach”.

Image Source: General Knowledge

You know, it does look like a cockroach if it is viewed from certain angles. Closer to home, Perth’s Convention Center is another good example of ‘Cockroach-ism’. The image below is a bird eye view of Perth City, notice the cockroach?

Image Source: Answers

Archi-roaching is a term loosely describe the attitude of an architecture student that manage to skip classes and submit his/her assignments late while avoiding penalties such as an A in his/her transcript for Absent or an F for Fail.

Noun: The act of skipping or dodging classes for the entire semester and manage to scrape through with a minimum credit to obtain a pass to precede to the following semester.

Thesaurus for Archi-roaching: Slacking, Hiding, Dodging, Scrape Through

Example: Mr.James a.k.a the cockroach managed to ‘cockroached’ his way last semester with a minimum credit for all subjects.

Cockroach is not the only animal that evolved and took the shape of man, some other animals are leech (require the assistant of their course mate), cats (9 lives), snake (Back-stabbing) and many more.

p.s. I’ve created a new poll on ‘How many cockroaches are there in your class?”