Dear Architects, I am sick of your shit.

Dear Architects, I am sick of your shit.

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dear architects 01

PartIV has this really really interesting post – “Dear Architects, I am sick of your shit!”. Basically it is an open letter by Annie Choi, a really long letter, honestly there is some truth to it – especially on the sleeping part. Without further ado, here is the letter:

Once, a long time ago in the days of yore, I had a friend who was studying architecture to become, presumably, an architect.

This friend introduced me to other friends, who were also studying architecture. Then these friends had other friends who were architects – real architects doing real architecture like designing luxury condos that look a lot like glass dildos. And these real architects knew other real architects and now the only people I know are architects. And they all design glass dildos that I will never work or live in and serve only to obstruct my view of New Jersey.

Do not get me wrong, architects. I like you as a person. I think you are nice, smell good most of the time, and I like your glasses. You have crazy hair, and if you are lucky, most of it is on your head. But I do not care about architecture. It is true. This is what I do care about:

  • burritos
  • hedgehogs
  • coffee

As you can see, architecture is not on the list. I believe that architecture falls somewhere between toenail fungus and invasive colonoscopy in the list of things that interest me.

Perhaps if you didn’t talk about it so much, I would be more interested. When you point to a glass cylinder and say proudly, hey my office designed that, I giggle and say it looks like a bong. You turn your head in disgust and shame. You think, obviously she does not understand. What does she know? She is just a writer. She is no architect. She respects vowels, not glass cocks. And then you say now I am designing a lifestyle center, and I ask what is that, and you say it is a place that offers goods and services and retail opportunities and I say you mean like a mall and you say no. It is a lifestyle center. I say it sounds like a mall. I am from the Valley, bitch. I know malls.

Architects, I will not lie, you confuse me. You work sixty, eighty hours a week and yet you are always poor. Why aren’t you buying me a drink? Where is your bounty of riches? Maybe you spent it on merlot. Maybe you spent it on hookers and blow. I cannot be sure. It is a mystery. I will leave that to the scientists to figure out.

Architects love to discuss how much sleep they have gotten. One will say how he was at the studio until five in the morning, only to return again two hours later. Then another will say, oh that is nothing. I haven’t slept in a week. And then another will say, guess what, I have never slept ever. My dear architects, the measure of how hard you’ve worked and how much you’ve accomplished is not related to the number of hours you have not slept. Have you heard of Rem Koolhaas? He is a famous architect. I know this because you tell me he is a famous architect. I hear that Rem Koolhaas is always sleeping. He is, I presume, sleeping right now. And I hear he gets shit done. And I also hear that in a stunning move, he is making a building that looks not like a glass cock, but like a concrete vagina. When you sleep more, you get vagina. You can all take a lesson from Rem Koolhaas.

Life is hard for me, please understand. Architects are an important part of my existence. They call me at eleven at night and say they just got off work, am I hungry? Listen, it is practically midnight. I ate hours ago. So long ago that, in fact, I am hungry again. So yes, I will go. Then I will go and there will be other architects talking about AutoCAD shortcuts and something about electric panels and can you believe that is all I did today, what a drag. I look around the table at the poor, tired, and hungry, and think to myself, I have but only one bullet left in the gun. Who will I choose?

I have a friend who is a doctor. He gives me drugs. I enjoy them. I have a friend who is a lawyer. He helped me sue my landlord. My architect friends have given me nothing. No drugs, no medical advice, and they don’t know how to spell subpoena. One architect friend figured out that my apartment was one hundred and eighty seven square feet. That was nice. Thanks for that.

I suppose one could ask what someone like me brings to architects like yourselves. I bring cheer. I yell at architects when they start talking about architecture. I force them to discuss far more interesting topics, like turkey eggs. Why do we eat chicken eggs, but not turkey eggs? They are bigger. And people really like turkey. See? I am not afraid to ask the tough questions.

So, dear architects, I will stick around, for only a little while. I hope that one day some of you will become doctors and lawyers or will figure out my taxes. And we will laugh at the days when you spent the entire evening talking about some European you’ve never met who designed a building you will never see because you are too busy working on something that will never get built. But even if that day doesn’t arrive, give me a call anyway, I am free.

Yours truly,
Annie Choi



38 Comments

  1. andrew walker
    andrew walker
    July 23, 2007

    Annie,

    Have your friend “the doctor” prescribe you a heavy dose of valium…you are way to neurotic.

    Reply
  2. Calvin
    Calvin
    July 24, 2007

    i was funny, i mean the letter, according to Annie herself in PartIV’s blog, she receive quite a number of hate mails… poor annie.

    Reply
  3. Wu Jin Tze
    Wu Jin Tze
    July 30, 2007

    What can I say? Almost ALL successful architects I know have rich family or rich spouse who supports their practices. Two successul ex-boss of mine have rich developer wives. 3 companies I work for started by rich guys who are related to the Rockerfeller dynasty. MOST architects that work longest hours for low wages have trustfunds thus they don’t care about pay or raises, working for ELITE companies that make slave labor in Indoniea look like a light weight. And THAT is the ultimate form of elitism.

    This profession has alienate itself from society by it’s own arrogance and esotericsim and elitism.

    The amazing thing is, every architect I know thinks they are better, smarter, more environmentally, socially responsible than everyone else.

    Social transformation, leading the stupid masses into a better environment, all these are preached by every architect as their noble self-sacrificial goals, what a joke.

    Reply
  4. jamesgeorgeinedu2
    jamesgeorgeinedu2
    July 31, 2007

    i think architects simply overdo it,
    all the real great architects (non is still alive) have nothing to say of rest…they just go on working. and truly, the architect is much smarter and socially responsible than everyone else. in truth, you understand life until you become an architect. this is not obtained by training in schools however. the original author has a point. truly, architects are lousy, escapist blabbers. ok they dont sleep, but what do they have to show for it? the engineer does all the work, and leads a fairly normal life. this only goes to say that architecture as we know it proffessionally is at its point of death, and that this proffessional should evolve to become what he truly should be in this century. if architects bother more of this, they’d have less time to bicker of sleep. does any of you feel the need for more hours in the day? one hardly gets any sleep these days. this architecture business….

    Reply
  5. saifullah
    saifullah
    August 20, 2007

    i am an architect and run my own firm,i woke up 11:30 noon, came to ma office at 12:40.. im working now on a project.and am coming up with great ideas, love ma work..clients are satisfied… will leave office at 5 pm. will hit the sack at 12 pm!!…. got ma poiint!!.?

    Reply
  6. jamesgeorgeinedu2
    jamesgeorgeinedu2
    October 17, 2007

    saifullah, you are my new hero(ine). what country are you? now thats the life.

    Reply
  7. anka
    anka
    August 9, 2008

    by the way, i think rem koolhaas drives a bright and shiny new bentley or something like that….
    now….i have to go. i need my beauty sleep.

    young architect.

    Reply
  8. goober squidly
    goober squidly
    February 13, 2009

    Man I HATE You stupida insipid ARCHITECTS. I have workin Engineering for 20 years now and it is SO apparent that you guys / gals cannot use AUtocad to save your LIFE!

    Learn What NORTH is. Learn that Not all lines are 90 degrees. (Like Streets) they look 90 but they are NOT. Offsets from these lines affect the project. When an Engineer gives you a Base Drawing.. DOn’t Scale it. Don’t ROtate it. ANd PLEASE PLEASE Learn how to use more than 1 layer. Not all lines go on the SITE layer.

    I wish Architectural schools would teach some of these basic principles and learn how to get along with Other Disciplines.

    Out !

    Reply
  9. Ronco vegimatic
    Ronco vegimatic
    February 22, 2009

    Hmmmm. Do any of you really know an actual architect? I assume goober squidly does (some of his points are more or less correct – regarding SOME architects). Some of them really are a horse’s ass. No lie. However, Engineers are …not perfect. Lazy? not wanting to take ownwership? Let the the “stupid insipid architect” bring the “big picture together” and sweat the details – I’m too good to worry about all that “unskilled” coordination work that the dumb-ass architect has to do. The architect is where all the consultant “input” comes together and is coordinated. This is the sad part – instead of making any really creative contributions to human “built environment” architects are relegated to keeping all the crap together that leads up to a successful design-bid-build process. (Or more and more – design-build – which is far worse – no time for any “design” – you’ll eat up any bottom line you MIGHT have had). If you want to make a difference – become a city planner, (after working in architecture a few years to find out how bad it is).

    Reply
  10. arq.fab
    arq.fab
    June 2, 2009

    …at some points annie choi is right about us, but much of the time, she overreacted…

    saifullah….LUV YA!

    goober squidly…get a F#%^)^#@! life..

    Reply
  11. Sick-of-it
    Sick-of-it
    June 3, 2009

    Goober Squidly is right, but he doesn’t expand on it enough. Their ACAD skills are worse than those of a boiled turnip.

    Architects always assume they never make a mistake and the rest of the dumb masses can’t tie shoes w/o help…Yet if you ask a question, they cannot answer it: Specs, Plan View, and Elevation View do not agree. What should I do?
    Answer: Bid and build according to plans and specs!

    And how is it we have to send in RFIs and allow two weeks for a response, if we EVER get one, but we have to respond to requests from them in 7 nano-seconds?

    Why do they play “Where’s Waldo?” with info and details on the prints? Can’t put all the info in the dwg pkg? and then tell you it’s your fault that you didn’t know thus and such, but you never got an answer to your RFI ‘cuz you sent it in too close to the cut-off date.

    Not to mention that they never have details that actually look like how it is really built. They hang stuff in the air w/o support (sky hooks?) They spec stuff via some boiler plate crap that was written in 1947 or before and want you to stick to it even if it doesn’t work…Sorry, I’m getting crazed.

    Architects and their shoddy work cost their clients money. They should be avoided like a rash.

    Reply
  12. CAD Lady
    CAD Lady
    July 26, 2010

    Hey Goober and Ronco! Of course Architects cannot use CAD. They spent all their time learning theory and how to draw off the board. I am the one that they hire for the Cad work. You see, I am, What is known as a “Specialist”. If your drawings are not at a 1 to 1 scale in model space, guess what I do! I scale it to 1 to 1. North is always north, even if it points slightly to the left. And, what is up with the 256 pen assignments that engineers use? Can you not find comfort in the basic 9 so called “Logical Colors” and maybe a couple of extra gray scales and a nice shade of red to use when I want to visibly cloud your error for revision? Also, why do you have to draw two thirds of your stuff at fifty seven feet eleven and seventeen one
    millionths of an inch above the z coordinate? All that dose is make me cuss. We all know that cussing is just not lady like. Oh, and one more thing. Learn to spell! “Engineer” is not spelled “Injuneeear”.

    Reply
  13. Kate
    Kate
    February 17, 2011

    Goober Squidly has some serious issues. I saw your exact same reply on yahoo answers. Why so much hate?

    I feel that every profession feels superior to another. And architects aren’t all elitists.
    Half my studio is on financial aid and scholarships plus working part time. Don’t make such vast generalizations.

    Reply
  14. simone
    simone
    March 17, 2011

    are any of you architecture students?

    Reply
  15. Vanessa
    Vanessa
    April 3, 2011

    I’m sorry but, I think everyone’s lost with what architects really do. Architect literally means “master builder”. Where I’m from we study structures, construction, geodesy, lighting, plumbing, history, theory, and design. I think most of us talk about how much sleep we got coz we cherish the rest we get, not to brag which one of us is the last one standing. We need a little bit of respect for juggling everything altogether. I found some parts of the article humorous but some parts were just over the top. I really enjoy what we do, it may be hard to believe but yes, we actually waste our time to go about our work with social transformation, sustainability, and all that other so-called “crap” in mind. We try. With talking about European works, and late great architects, well, that’s like our Entertainment Tonight, or American Idol. We’re all the same.

    My feelings. :> Peace.

    Reply
  16. arkiwiz
    arkiwiz
    April 15, 2011

    Well yeap…..a real architect goes through a load of shity life to be what he really is……….and at the end it may not end up so well……but yes the architect indeed is the master and it is beyond any other profession in the world………..I mean think about where would you be without architecture…it is the art of all arts..it is where you sit, you eat and sleep. Next time remember it is more than not having to sleep after long days and nights of useless work………………….

    Reply
  17. hjons
    hjons
    June 9, 2011

    engineers know everything about 1 thing. architects know something about everything.
    dear engineers, yes you are “masters” of auto cad and yes, you may know more about some technical aspects. but you couldn’t design something reasonably nice to look at even with all your brains. yes we spend a lot of our time complaining about not getting any sleep and all that kind of jazz but maybe thats because having a design ability is not something you can teach. it is not something you can learn. it is not something you can do by learning a computer program well.
    i realise engineers are very smart people, and we have much to thank them for as i personally hate anything that has anything to do with a “statics” or “bending moments”, but if you had any idea on how to design a nice looking building we, the architect, would not be around. but alas, you can not design pretty functional things. if you could, you would be architects.
    so i guess what i am trying to say is, STOP COMPLAINING AND GO BACK TO BEING ARE COMPUTER BITCHS.
    thanks.

    Reply
  18. bandanana
    bandanana
    June 24, 2011

    Lol I thought you guys are college/uni people, or at least heading to that part of your life.
    Show some respect guys. Architects and engineers have their roles, and they both have their good aspects and bad. As much as honesty is an important aspect of life, hopefully you guys don’t act like this in your work office.

    Reply
    • b
      b
      February 6, 2014

      Word, bandanana, word.

      Everyone plays a role in the industry and while some fella here said architect’s can’t draw for shit, I also say and experience all other players in the industry who can’t draw for shit, just won’t give the right info, don’t give a shit about the quality of their work, have no respect for the degree they worked their assess of to get.

      BTW, I guarantee you Rem Koolhaus, as hard working as he is, works his ass off and didn’t get much sleep during studies, or even now when hes in the middle of some large fantastic design. Show some respect people, going about and carrying on like this is exactly the reason why we players end up playing divide and conquer and the blame game, and not working together properly and banging out sick ass projects.

      Reply
  19. Marisse
    Marisse
    July 13, 2011

    I’m an architecture student and yes, we do cherish the time we spent for sleeping. Yes again, we do brag about not sleeping for days to our fellow architecture students but I must say that we don’t think that we are “Superior”. Maybe you heard people say architects are superior people because they imagined of beautiful and huge buildings and engineers(Yes, they’re a big help…NOT) helped them make it come true. Just a thought, Fine Arts students also spent sleepless nights. Architects are not the only ones who brag about their nights spent doing projects, almost other professions, one reason or another, causes them to stay awake for days.

    Reply
  20. Streakytoosle
    Streakytoosle
    March 26, 2012

    Oh this is all soooo funny!! I’ve just spent 6 years studying architecture and tomorrow I get my degree and like HELL am I actually going to become an architect!!!!! I’m so fed up with the rubbish my architect friends and teachers come out with! Like “there is no such thing as ‘beauty’ because architecture is more ‘meaningful’ than ‘beauty'”… oh come on!!! We all know that if a building is functional and looks good everyone will love it. There’s no need to design a building that “interprets the trees on the other side of the road” or that “follows the flow of the neardy river”. Just accept that what you do is an extended and slightly more complicated version of what an interior designer, or fashion designer or any kind of designer, even a craftman does…! Yet most of them don’t brag about knowing the ‘fundamental truths of life and the world’!
    So yeah, can’t stand the architects anymore and can’t wait to start working with normal down to earth people again! Just one more day of fake-phylosophical hell!

    Reply
  21. Interior Designer
    Interior Designer
    May 4, 2012

    Ok, kiddies.. I’ve been doing this for 18 years now. I want to know why all of the “interior designers” are put on construction documentation… and all of the “Architects” pick fabrics and finishes. I’ve done more God Da*n parking lots than I want to tell you… I’m currently working on architectural room joists for Cargo Container Architecture… HEY… WHERE’S MY F”ING FINISH BOARDS??? They didn’t teach me parking lots in Interior Design School… they taught me the History of Tassles.. which I majored in… so what’s with the F*ing PARKING LOTS???, STRUCTURAL CROSS BEAMS, VEHICULAR ASPHAULT, AND ALL OF THAT NONSENSE I’VE HAD TO DEAL WITH..

    I’m really SICK of being used as a cheap architect… didn’t have the training… and don’t want IT.

    And I want to eat out someones throat right now!!!

    Reply
  22. lugasa
    lugasa
    July 23, 2012

    hey, i’m from indonesia and yes i agree with that “elitism”. i just quit, but when i was in second year i was briefed by this middle man contractor about how we can “cheat” our way in using cheap materials and designs to maximize profits. i didnt know until quite sometime, he really did seriously offered me a job to design the interior of some rooms in a hotel and he didnt even cared that i was a student! of course i couldnt take it, i wasnt ready and i suspect the money was corrupted.

    my lectures always blame the education system and how it dictates us so we’re afraid to explore our creativity but they are also a bunch of materialistic extravagant hypocrites who likes to dictate us with their OWN standards…so in every presentation we have or every exams that requires our creativity they get super subjective.

    i always have this question in mind, if we are still living in houses of blocks..in our perspective of a “civilized” modern world..how are we more evolved than bees in their hexagon’s nest? they have interior designs and specific functions too, as humans we should have more to offer. we can easily adapted to a space and a condition but it’s not particularly ideal,yet we allow the elite to control what or how we should live.

    Reply
  23. Architecture student
    Architecture student
    November 19, 2012

    I love this article. I am SO SICK of hearing people brag, yes brag, about how little they have slept. It actually makes me sick. Architecture students love to spend HOURS talking about how little they’ve slept and I can’t help but think its pathetic. It’s like some sad badge of honour and I’m so over hearing about it.

    Reply
  24. why so serious
    why so serious
    January 27, 2013

    Imagine not sleeping for two days, working on a project with your friends. Imagine the state of your mind after litres of coffee and energy drinks, almost no food, glue fumes, cigarette smoke, same winamp playlist that’s been playing for hours.. At a certain point everybody goes kind of crazy, but good crazy. From half hour long laughter attacks, to hallucinations, we’ve had it all. And although it was hard, we always spoke of how other people are actually missing on something really great, all in all. As far as the money part goes, you should probably dig deeper than Koolhaas. To such a bad argument, a response is redundant.

    Cheers!

    Reply
  25. Someone in the right industry
    Someone in the right industry
    March 6, 2013

    Architects are not required in todays world of construction, we the civil and structural engineers/draughtsman can do the job with ease.

    Dont even get me started on autocad, it doesn’t take the brains of an arch bishop to work acad but by jo these lads struggle with it.

    Reply
  26. casualobservation
    casualobservation
    April 3, 2013

    Anyone who thinks that architects are not required in the modern world is clearly uneducated about what architects do.

    Some of these are valid points, but really people, educate yourselves about things before arguing for or against them – almost every post on this is a joke.

    Reply
  27. architect from hell
    architect from hell
    April 6, 2013

    My architect is a technical marvel but has NO Artistic talent or taste. This is the house from hell. He can’t or won’t draw a perspective. instead,He insists on providing a sample–of what–an entire library? I would like to just walk away from the project because he makes me hate the whole endeavor.

    Reply
  28. larz
    larz
    September 7, 2013

    A Humble GC.
    I am on the end of what the architect produces, an resonsible for legal liability of the finished outcome.

    So I have something to say.

    Architects are designers and not builders. Big problem.

    I am a developer, design/builder and contractor. Architects are paid by the hour with limited funding. They are not invested in providing detailed plans that work. Therefore, the owner payes extra for their lack of detail to describe construction.

    Think of history. Leanardo Di Venchi was a design build contractor. It worked. When architects are not resonsible for contruction, you get a partitial design.

    Reply
  29. MeRmEr
    MeRmEr
    February 6, 2014

    Dear Annie,

    Too bad you are poor as your Architect friends. If you were rich, you would be able to appreciate your architect friends more when you are asking ideas on your very own house.

    Reply
  30. drave
    drave
    February 6, 2014

    well…haters gonna hate… :)

    Reply
  31. Overview
    Overview
    March 1, 2014

    What architects do:

    Provide building designs based on life safety codes, accessibility codes, local design ordinances, ensure a water-tight design, include building developers site and spatial requirements, and site constraints, all within prescribed budget requirements, and allotted production/ construction time, for a building which is just an image in someone’s head, or has been a dream/ goal of an owner.

    We start from a blank piece of paper, create drawings for the owner to see the final product and possibly market (pretty renderings), provide drawing coordination for a minimum 4 consultants, include code information for permitting and the local planning department, research and specify every single architectural product to be included in the building (all the way down to door locks), and include information for a contractor to build, within the same set of drawings and specifications.

    During construction, providing answers to questions for contractors, because yes, it is a one-of-a-kind design which every owner wants, ensure products submitted are the correct quality, review pricing to ensure the owner is getting a fair price, and provide on-site observation.

    Architect’s are the discipline who are there for the owner from beginning to end. No consultant can say this, and neither can the contractor. Consultants, and contractors, have the luxury of not worrying about the big picture.

    If you can do it, by all means do it. If not, then you should rethink your position.

    I think every person involved in the design building process is important, but everyone needs to understand architects do more than draw pretty pictures, and make paint selections.

    Reply
  32. Arch thesis student
    Arch thesis student
    March 3, 2014

    I am an adult in my thesis year of architecture who works is a completely different profession. A NYC Medic who started at a community college 8 years ago in an Architectural Engineering Associates then transferred to a 5 year Arch Program. I’m a 3.7+ GPA student in my final semester and actually 2 months to the end ready to quit. Reason being? I spent 5 years learning nothing with my GPA as high as it is. I know no more about construction than when I started and the reason I got into this program was my love of construction and knowledge and performance in carpentry and home repair, working with my hands etc. needless to say, it has been extremely disappointing to how little Architects focus on construction and only theory and conceptual pretty images. Yes, concepts, spatial orientation and being able to represent ideas to a client are important I know but holy crap, we learn nothing. You spend 5 years in a program to get an internship and realize you haven’t been taught shit. What’s theory and how it’s implemented and the real world is a complete disconnect. I completely understand why engineers and contractors ridicule architects. Yes contractors can be shady but damn architects. Maybe it’s just my school but the lack of education is insane and I’ve always been the NERD in school….the math/science geek. Architecture school is the equivalent of being given 1 thousand circles and squares and being told you have to color each one in with a red crayon in 5 minutes. Busy work and lacking efficiency or critical thinking. I don’t know a single architectural student that once graduates if told to build a deck, they’d know how to. Sure they will say they can “design” it but I’m a firm believer that you can’t be the best architect if you can’t pick up a hammer and do. Seriously, you get a BArch degree and “I have an Architecture degree, but I need a Home Depot 1-2-3 book to help me do a home repair”. I agree with the engineers on here. I wish I can get my money back. PS: I’ve gotten A’s in design. I’ve spewed off a bunch of BS and in the end I guess I got an A in the “art” of BS. I would love for a good engineer to take me under their wing.

    Reply
    • John
      John
      December 2, 2014

      You are very correct. right on spot. I think architecture curriculum should be over-hauled as most schools use curriculum that doesnt prepare their students for the real world. I finished architecture school some couple of years ago and a day doesnt pass by without me asking “exactly WTF was i taught in school”. (dont get me wrong, i was above average in school). I am sure a lot of graduate architects out there will relate with the feeling of inadequacy that most of us felt immediately we left school and was faced with a real life situation where some contractor or engineer was waiting on us for some answers on site. Like you, I wish I could get my money back. I wasnt taught sh-t despite sleepless nights in the studio for good five years of undergraduate studies. That’s one of the reasons why after Masters degree I refused to seek employment as an assistant/junior lecturer in the same school. I’d rather prefer to get some real world experience first before mentoring students.

      Reply
  33. Architect
    Architect
    July 25, 2014

    Just saying, Rem Koolhaas gets his shit done and he sleeps as long as he wants because he has an Army of non paid interns doing the job for him. Same for Zaha Hadid and so on.

    There are good architects and bad architects and, although some things are true (for example the “who-slept-less-tonight” part), most of it is just a dumb generalisation and proves that maybe, you should change your friends instead of publically insult them. Would be more mature.

    Reply
  34. Luke Johnson
    Luke Johnson
    November 2, 2014

    This was just what I needed! Hilarious, well written, and smartly crafted. Thanks so much Annie :)

    Reply
  35. Katie B
    Katie B
    December 14, 2014

    People like you is the reason architects and designers get married. Because this is world you will never understand and will never appreciate. We devote our lives to our jobs and constantly on the look out for inspiration for our next project. Just think about working on 1 project for 3 years day in and day out. You have no idea what you’re talking about so do some research before you make fun of a profession that the world can’t live without.

    Reply

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