Architecture Presentation Crits [ Funny ]

Updated on June 24, 2016 in Architecture Humour

Architecture Presentation Crits
Image Source : Archinet

Here are some of the best comments by lecturers and professors I’ve come across, most of these quotes are from online blogs reading (archinet), some are from words of mouth while others are first hand experience, here goes:

  • “Why are you here? Don’t come back next semester.”
  • “Here’s a quarter. go call your mom and tell her you’re not going to be an architect.”
  • Your design is like masturbation, you want to know why? That is because only you yourself enjoyed and like it.
  • What is that boxy thing (model)? A coffin?
  • Your design sucks!
  • Your design is very tasteful… … for the tasteless.
  • “Is this a … structural… glob of glue?”
  • “When I went to school, at a different school than this one, there were students who would present projects like this one.
    And they would fail.”
  • “Your project looks like something that’s been through a trash compactor”
  • “This space that you’ve designed is the type place where beggars and dogs go to die”
  • “Are you in interior design?”
  • “Why are you studying architecture if you’re producing things like that?”
  • “Hey, everyone, gather round this project, come in close…because this is a great example for everyone of exactly what NOT to do..”
  • “This drawing isn’t worth the paper it is printed on.”
  • “This (model) is great…..just don’t let your dog play with it next time.”
  • “The program you invented was meant solely for your architectural masturbation……”
  • If you build this and after 10000 years the aliens see it, they would understand why humans extinguish
  • “Have you ever considered a career in accounting?”
  • “oh, so it’s like some kind of orgy pit!”
  • “So your parents are pay $20000 a year for this.”
  • “Your theory is bullshit. You don’t need that”
  • Prof pointing to part of a model, “Did you chew this?”
Related ➤  Dear Architects, I am sick of your shit.

Read also the second part of Archi Presentation Crits Part 2

Architecture Presentation Crits

Peter Eisenmann Debates Wolf D Prix about the Student

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The author is not a CAD expert nor a web genius. Just another guy spending too much time online. The tutorials featured here are meant for basic level understanding.

54 Comments

  1. we had an interim before crit and the tutor told one of my classmates “can we PLEASE move on to something that actually looks like it took some time to create! …instead of something that looks like a glob of play-doh that has be rolled in your hands!” (referring to her model)

  2. I remember from one critique where my classmate was presenting his project and one of the teachers stood up and gave a 5 minute speech on how wrong and uninteresting the project was.

    Then someone pointed out..

    “Ahm.. That’s not his project.. Yeah, you’re looking at the wrong project”

    She turned over to the right project and replied hastly:

    “Well this isn’t any different. The same thing applies”

    This was followed up by an awkward silence

  3. a classmate of mine while presenting climatic analysis for his urban design project was told “the issues of the city are greater than sunpath”

  4. MY TUTOR ARE LANDSCAPE DESIGNER AND TEACHING ARCHITECTURE… WHEN I ASK HIM SUMTHING AFTER COMPLAINING/CRIT ABOUT THE BUILDING REGULATION AND HE END UP SAYING.

    “YOU ARE THE ARCHITECT..YOU FIGURE OUT”

  5. In a crit a classmate had designed a home for a burlesque dancer…. she had good pictures but poor cad work and was told-

    “Is those visuals are burlesque, your plans are gimp.”

  6. Amazing …! Crit i came across:
    “This is a field where those people comes who have broad mind……..not a narrow minded …….like someone i read that he will go to [poultry science]”

  7. Forget all these crits. We all know that cruel crits come from bad teachers.Who might received the same thing when they were students, and try to throw it to someone else.U are way better than what they say.

  8. A teacher at my uni said the following thing to a classmate of me:
    “Who sketched that, your ten year old sister?”

  9. my friend told my classmate designs… ” what are this many boxes? is this a cementery?”

    my mentor told me my son in grade 3 can draw better than yours…

  10. hectic. ive sat through some bad ones but the above take the cake. a lecturer did tell my classmate once “nice process sketches. pity you didn’t do your presentation”…. it WAS his final presentation. shame.

  11. i still remember my lecturer said to my friend during crit session~~~~ ‘ur design look like shit, and ur face look like shit’…

  12. One of my professors told a girl last year that there are easier majors, like leisure studies. . . she isn’t around anymore.

  13. in our first year we had to design a 100 sqft. flying saucer. The Professor looking at one of the models, studying it carefully said, ” lets see how it flies” and it just went out of window. That was our first assignment in design and we thought that was one of the best designs.

  14. Fraid not Rani, you could come back with a smart reply like i did once but you’ve got to remember, they will just crush you harder next time (as they did to me)

    But i survived, got a good 1st class BA(Hons) now doing my MA, (at the same place) there not too harsh now cos they know what i can produce, they still like to try and push very hard.

  15. A girl in my crit was told the best part of her project was her scale figure…she then replied, “really?” in disbelief…awkward.

  16. My 1st year professor told us that some crits just like to hear themselves talk, so don’t take it too seriously and let them look like the asses they are. Eventually you’ll learn how to deal with them.

  17. A Prof (friend of mine) talking about a D4 student project: This is like what would look like if Ghery chewed crayons and vomited all over.

    By far the best ive heard!

  18. I’ve heard this one:
    Your design is so provincial, there could be a new modernist movement as reaction to your work.

    She was the only one ever saying this about this project… So never care and just smile and think about the beer afterwards; you really earned it!

  19. i guess this crit cruelty is worldwide!! studied archy in Nigeria n one crit says to my classmate whose tryn to explain his concept “u ve FAILED, dont bother” n just walks away.

  20. Your presentation is good…, your concept is good…. but you have no design. U FAIL!

    and

    You only got this far bcause you can talk.

    but the worst was when… for once (;-)) i did a whole heap of work… and my crit pannels filled 3/4 of the class… i was so proud … until a crit person came… sat down and asked “is this all yours?” “yes !” i said quite glad to get a something good said for once… “oh well I cant be bothered to get up and look at it all”.

    she eventually failed me.+ she kept disturbing the person who was actually critting me!

  21. My class was designing public bathrooms, and the crit told a guy in my class, “your disign looks like pubic hair”

  22. “You should go straight to Poultry Science”.
    and receive a better income…

    “Well this isn’t any different. The same thing applies”
    yes, but that’s the example you showed the class in the 2nd week…

  23. i’ve heard this being asked to one of my frnds in the crit..!

    The priority of an architecture student is to design! now, whats ur’s??

    lol !!

  24. It’s architorcher!
    Don’t give up. Do what ever comes in ur mind as long as u can find a way 2 bs about it.

  25. These are a few common comments in India:

    ‘Why dont u design sarees/ hankerchiefs rather?’
    Is this alley for kids to play ‘gully cricket?’
    ‘Are these structural?’
    ‘Go – get a bath and come back.’

  26. a friend of mine at arch school. stopped a crit in the middle of his sentence and said “halt it….some of u come here to shell our work yet yo own projects worse designed, look like garbage, no wonder non of u ever uses them as precedence…. get a leaf” he passed.

  27. Yesterday there were some prime examples of failed professionalism at my department:

    1. ‘If you were trying to perfect evil architecture, you did it.’

    2. ‘Did you design these plinths on purpose…because this looks like the perfect place to sacrifice virgins.’

    3. (pointing to a model) ‘kill this. Now.’

  28. Oh god where to start on nightmare crits. Pretty much every crit i did was torchure, still i passed and now have a really good job.

    1. at the end of the first year my best friend pinned up his sketches and model. there was 5 lecturers, 3 from the uni and two guests, when they got to his drawings and get him to explain the concept/design etc. at the end of his 2min speech one of the guest lecturers stood up and stood about a foot away from the wall and then spent 10minuits trying to get my friend to admit that it was a concept model and that he had put it together inside the last 15mins. after that there was a really uncomfortable silence followed by this declaration that my friend should have given up architecture after the first month, at which point he ripped the drawings off the wall and into pieces before throwing them over my friend.

    2. final year final crit one person, who was a bit of a slacker stood up with one hand drawn sketch (that really could have been drawn by a 2yr old) a seriously rubbish model he then tried to blag his way through his crit trying to explain that his amazing idea had come to him during the previous day and thats why he didn’t have any drawing etc.

    Same year one of the highest scoring students finished his designs 3 weeks before the hand in and spend 2 weeks building a pretty amazing model with lights and everything only to be told it looked like a concept model knocked together over a weekend. he still passed but they were harsh, the others failed!

  29. 1 st year – POP block model carving our spaces
    Prof commented “u made it or it happened?” to one of the guys and to another girl ” looks like an excavated block from mohenjodaro”

  30. If you were at Oxford or Harvard, you’d be top of the class… but because you at UKZN you going to fail….

  31. My God! I hope you architecture students on here are better at drawing than you are at spelling & punctuation.

    Note to self – Never, EVER, let an architecture graduate send a letter out; unless it is to order sandwiches or plotter refills.

  32. Midterm Crit comment to one of my classmates:

    “If I had to spend more than an hour in that room I would kill somebody!”

    When the student asked what can be changed the reply was:

    “I mean…I don’t know, the whole thing is just a f***ing mess..start over”

  33. Two ways to learn Design
    1.DO WHAT U WANT HOW U WANT & GET IT TO BUILD.
    -this one doest not work in university.But in practising world it does.

    2.DO WHAT THE CRITIC TELLS, MAKE AN EXCELLENT RAPO WITH CRITICS, BE OBEDIENT, DONT ARGUE,PASS WITH FLYING COLORS
    -This anit easy!!

  34. A girl in one of my tutes took her inspiration from fashion and she was told: “I don’t know why you are hear. Go to RMIT(a different uni nearby) and study fashion design. She cried and never came back

  35. In one of my crits last semester, Jose Oubrerie was a guest jurist. That day the studio was set to present plans and sections. Upon seeing my plans and sections he said “I want you to take these plans and afix them to the ceiling above where you sleep so that every night you lay down and every morning you rise you look at them and say to yourself ‘I will never do that again'”. He said my “sketches are poetry. They remind me of Piet Mondrian. Your plans…they are shit!” One of My most memorable reviews.

  36. I HAVE MY CRIT THIS COMING TUESDAY, I HAVEN’T DONE THAT MUCH, I FEEL THAT MY TUTORS ARE NOT EVEN INTERESTING IN MY WORK, WHAT SHALL I DO???, FOR THE CRITS I WILL DO MY BEST TO DO THE MISSING WORK I STILL GOTTA DO, BUT SOMETIMES WHEN ONE OF MY TUTORS LISTEN TO ME, THEY ALWAYS SAY AHA, YEP, AHA, YEP,ECT AND MEAN WHY???!!!! HELP PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :'(

  37. Hey Everyone,
    I assume most of you are current or ex-students gunning for an interesting career in architecture :-)
    I’m intrigued by what I read here, but hope you don’t mind me asking: ‘do any of you think this is funny?’

    I think the most apt post above, about the ‘crit-ors’ is: ‘…these guys probably carry on like this because they too were treated the same.’

    But gosh you guys, no wonder architecture is a dying profession. This is rubbish :-)
    Has anyone had a moment of presenting sumthing that has received maybe a hint of positive expression…just a little hint :-)

    Anyone of you in Bangalore, KL or Bahrain? We have just come onto Fb also, come and join us.
    Hope to hear from you

    Max

  38. I was once told about a sketch I made: you should never show a thing like that to a tutor and then she turned the leaf over so she doesn’t have to watch it.

    A girl in my class was told: you shouldn’t be here, because you’re holding the place of someone far more talented than you. That was brutal because we went through 4 pretty sadistic exams to get into University, so each one deserves their place in it.

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